In today’s EVOLVE or Decay episode, Kimberlie Dykeman continues a 4-part series on this concept of what characteristics help a guy become a better man, sharper leader, more communicative spouse, more compassionate friend, more inspiring father and more courageous human being. Adding on discipline to do your best work, always and rest to reboot your body, mind and spirit.
So, if you’re just jumping into the mix- this is Part 3 of the 4 part series, Building Blocks to Becoming a Better Man. What do you mean, Dykeman?? I’m hitting on perspective-shifting topics that equip you to reassess your life and define what truly matters to you as a man today; and offer and guide you through a re-building process to becoming a better man- however you choose to line-item that.
Today we’re taking on the topics of DISCIPLINE and REST.
But let’s first remember we’re building on the foundation we’ve begun laying down. Clearing your mindset for a revival of self –authentic to the world you interact with and true to your core beliefs and values… and practicing the work of forgiving your past choices, mess-ups and judgments in order to create a better present and future. Ultimately when you’re more in-tune with yourself, your interest and capability to connect and communicate is more positive, productive and preserving. And with stronger more genuine communication comes improved confidence, which yields a resurgence in courage to leap, learn and love with greater intensity and gratification.
Our next set of building blocks calls for Discipline to do your best work, always and its counterpart of Rest to reboot your body, mind and spirit.
To become a better man, you must be embrace DISCIPLINE. I’ll always default to my favorite quote by Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski who said “Discipline is doing what you are supposed to do in the best possible manner the time you are supposed to do it. And that’s not such a bad thing.”
The old adages from mentors to grandfathers stand the test of time because they are universally true: lasting, worthwhile success only comes from hard & smart work, planning, asking for help, hustling with integrity, and sticking to plumbline rules of engagement. Being disciplined means digging in for the battle ahead, doing more than what’s expected with what you’re given, and focusing your efforts on achievement of whatever your sights are set on.
Anyone who glamorizes the life of being an executive, growing business owner or entrepreneur needs to hear the grass is always greener line a few more times… because power and self-assigned freedom appears as 16-hour workdays, microwave dinners, endless networking, skipped workouts, missed parties, and caffeine by-the-gallon.
But discipline goes beyond hours of career and job responsibilities. It also means self-control to keep with promises to yourself and others- be it for better health, more money in your pocket, or messes to clean up. And it serves as a tuning fork to ensure your well of resources stays full and healthy. And when those resources of time, funds, family and friends are thriving it’s vital that you make time for Rest, Retreat and Reward.
To become a better man, you must be embrace REST. What comes to mind when I say that? In my initial intake questions I always clients to outline and color in what rest from work and discipline looks like… and what it COULD look like.
All attempts to over-fill your saturated days, week after week, will undeniably negatively impact your end results and create a nerve-racking situation for your body, mind and spirit –literally. Too many overachievers blur this mentality into all other areas of their lives- and strategy, goals, leading makes it so there is never a separation between work and home life. A BETTER man is a balanced man… and peace of mind, joy in your heart comes when you step back from the office.
Rest comes in two forms:
- STOPPING WORK… Learning to Sit Still… Leaving the building, Elvis, and laying down.
Indeed pushing pause and pacing yourself, as contradictory as it sounds, pays off royally time and time again. Down-time separates those leaders who thrive, from those who hit burnout time and time again… and playing catchup with weekend marathon naps is proven to be of little or no benefit. IT’S like taking studying for a test after you’ve already gotten an F. Having a not to do list for a few hours to a few weeks can improve your decision-making , productivity, and own morale; it can also save your heart, save your marriage, save your future. Remember, when you compromise yourself…and all other priorities are jeopardized.
- Rest can also mean RECESS- meaning PLAY and Release the Kid in You!
The counterbalance of work is PLAY! Creativity and passion for all parts of life need to be fueled by celebration and delightfully pointless activities in order to blossom. Life is too short to not carve out fun, non-competitive activities, experiences where you can make an ass out of yourself, chase your dreams, and tap the joy of nostalgia. And the longer you shut out laughter, the lamer your sense of humor becomes. Net-net- If the real you is dying to laugh, then loosen your tie, let down your hair, and have some damn fun.
Work and play- they’re like peanut butter and jelly; Bogie and Bacall, beer and ballgames. Neither reaches its true potential without the other! Point being, those who don’t let deadlines ruin their timeline… get a helluvalot more life out of their years. The closer you get to the true humble you, the more communicative and courageous you become, and the wisdom of just how to balance labor with leisure shows up in spades.
Never Stop EVOLVING. ~ KD
©2016 Kimberlie Dykeman
Sponsored by Kimberlie Dykeman Enterprises– Executive Performance Coaching, Retreats & Wingman Support for Gentlemen.
This is also featured on the global platform The Good Men Project where Dykeman is a regular contributing writer.